It all started the end of August 2011. I noticed some red blotches on my left breast, I didn't think much of it, but knowing me I got on Google and searched red breast blotches. Everything that came up was about Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I instantly started to feel anxious, my heart started racing and my body felt warm and sweaty. I immediately went right into the Urgent care clinic, explaining to the doctor that I had this red blotchy skin on my breast and I feared Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She couldn't tell me what it was but she made me and appointment with a Breast surgeon. My appointment wasn't until the following week so, I was paralyzed with fear, thinking I could have a rare aggressive form of breast cancer. I prayed over and over to God, please God don't let this be cancer. I've always been so fearful of Cancer, back in 2004 when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, they weren't sure if the lesions on my brain were from MS or a brain tumor. I literally prayed for Multiple Sclerosis, as cancer just scares the daylights out of me. Anyways, I got in to see the breast surgeon, she took one look at it and said "That is not inflammatory breast cancer." I was so relieved, but I still had no answers, for what it was, she just said to use the cortisone cream. That night I was laying in bed and noticed a puffy raised spot on the same breast, it looked like a hive, but didn't itch. I started using the cream on that area too. I don't remember when they went away but it did. Then another raised blotchy area appeared on my right breast. A little anxious as to what it was and what was causing it, but I went ahead and used the cream on that area too. It went away as well.
The Nov 10th, I noticed a bunch of spotty raised blotches on my right breast again, in a different area. This was by far the worst yet, I was using the cream, but my anxiety was through the roof. I just wanted to know what was causing it. I called the breast surgeon, and talked to a nurse there. She advised me to go see my primary care doctor and if she thought I needed to be seen by them again, then she'll refer me. I urgently made an appointment with my doctor. She looked at it and didn't know what it was, but prescribed me some Anti fungal cream to see if that helped, and told me if it didn't then to go see the breast surgeon in 2 weeks. I noticed it was getting worse, the raised blotches were now growing together, making one big red angry looking rashy area. Anxiety was once again paralyzing me. I wanted answers so badly that I waited for 4 hours in the ER to be seen by a doctor, two actually. Neither of them knew what it was, one said it looked like shingles but no blisters. They prescribed me an antibiotic and at my request, something to help me sleep, 10 pills of ativan.
The next day I made an appointment with the breast surgeon. I had been looking up information on inflammatory breast cancer again, and it was scaring the dickens out of me. I had no other symptoms, other than the rash looking area on my breast. No swelling, no heat, no itching, no enlarged lymph nodes, no pain, nothing! and if I didn't look at my breast I'd probably not know it was even there.
I got in to see the breast cancer surgeon. It was surreal walking into a cancer clinic. A disease that I've been so fearful of, and prayed to God often to please don't ever let me get cancer. Now I was walking into a clinic, thinking I had cancer. My husband came with me, I was an emotional wreck. I literally broke down in the office. Crying to the breast surgeon, telling her my fear of Inflammatory breast cancer. She said it was not Inflammatory Breast Cancer and that she was 99.9% certain it was not. I still begged and begged her to do a biopsy but she refused and said she was sending me to a dermatologist.
I met with the dermatologist the next day, I broke down in her office too. She looked at it and said oh that looks like eczema. Really, I thought? It doesn't itch or anything like eczema would. I then told her my fear of it being inflammatory breast cancer and she said no and pulled up a picture of IBC from the net. She said she's seen IBC and rashes from metastatic cancer. This was not it. I begged her to do a biopsy but she said no, it will leave a scar, use the cream she was prescribing. (Desonide) After using the cream a few days, I noticed improvement. I was told to use it for a week. The week came around and I still see a pink outline of where the red rash was. Still having anxiety from not knowing what it was or what is causing it. I brought my fears up with my Neurologist. The appointment was routine check up on for my Multiple Sclerosis, but of course the rash over took the appointment. I broke down once again, telling her how I've begged these doctors to do a biopsy and they wouldn't, she said exactly what I was thinking, what is a little scar for some peace of mind? She got on the phone right away to the dermatology office to get me in for a biopsy. I showed her the rash area and she said it didn't look like Inflammatory breast cancer to her either and she had worked in Radiology oncology and had seen Inflammatory breast cancer.
Here 3 weeks after the rash had started, it's still visible, much better looking but I can still see the pink outline. I was told not to use anymore creams or lotions 5 days before my appointment. My appointment is for December 6th. Starting to feel a bit better and trying to relax, I ended up waking up this morning with a small red blotch on the same breast, but different area. I am so sick of this, sick of not knowing what it is, sick of thinking the worst. I consider myself a Christian yet I am so paralyzed by fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. Do I have such little faith that I'm allowing fear to over take my life? I'm done! I'm done worrying about my breast rashes and blotches. I need to give it to God and not take it back. I need to trust in him with my worry and fears. Satan wants me to fear! God wants me to have peace.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5
The Nov 10th, I noticed a bunch of spotty raised blotches on my right breast again, in a different area. This was by far the worst yet, I was using the cream, but my anxiety was through the roof. I just wanted to know what was causing it. I called the breast surgeon, and talked to a nurse there. She advised me to go see my primary care doctor and if she thought I needed to be seen by them again, then she'll refer me. I urgently made an appointment with my doctor. She looked at it and didn't know what it was, but prescribed me some Anti fungal cream to see if that helped, and told me if it didn't then to go see the breast surgeon in 2 weeks. I noticed it was getting worse, the raised blotches were now growing together, making one big red angry looking rashy area. Anxiety was once again paralyzing me. I wanted answers so badly that I waited for 4 hours in the ER to be seen by a doctor, two actually. Neither of them knew what it was, one said it looked like shingles but no blisters. They prescribed me an antibiotic and at my request, something to help me sleep, 10 pills of ativan.
The next day I made an appointment with the breast surgeon. I had been looking up information on inflammatory breast cancer again, and it was scaring the dickens out of me. I had no other symptoms, other than the rash looking area on my breast. No swelling, no heat, no itching, no enlarged lymph nodes, no pain, nothing! and if I didn't look at my breast I'd probably not know it was even there.
I got in to see the breast cancer surgeon. It was surreal walking into a cancer clinic. A disease that I've been so fearful of, and prayed to God often to please don't ever let me get cancer. Now I was walking into a clinic, thinking I had cancer. My husband came with me, I was an emotional wreck. I literally broke down in the office. Crying to the breast surgeon, telling her my fear of Inflammatory breast cancer. She said it was not Inflammatory Breast Cancer and that she was 99.9% certain it was not. I still begged and begged her to do a biopsy but she refused and said she was sending me to a dermatologist.
I met with the dermatologist the next day, I broke down in her office too. She looked at it and said oh that looks like eczema. Really, I thought? It doesn't itch or anything like eczema would. I then told her my fear of it being inflammatory breast cancer and she said no and pulled up a picture of IBC from the net. She said she's seen IBC and rashes from metastatic cancer. This was not it. I begged her to do a biopsy but she said no, it will leave a scar, use the cream she was prescribing. (Desonide) After using the cream a few days, I noticed improvement. I was told to use it for a week. The week came around and I still see a pink outline of where the red rash was. Still having anxiety from not knowing what it was or what is causing it. I brought my fears up with my Neurologist. The appointment was routine check up on for my Multiple Sclerosis, but of course the rash over took the appointment. I broke down once again, telling her how I've begged these doctors to do a biopsy and they wouldn't, she said exactly what I was thinking, what is a little scar for some peace of mind? She got on the phone right away to the dermatology office to get me in for a biopsy. I showed her the rash area and she said it didn't look like Inflammatory breast cancer to her either and she had worked in Radiology oncology and had seen Inflammatory breast cancer.
Here 3 weeks after the rash had started, it's still visible, much better looking but I can still see the pink outline. I was told not to use anymore creams or lotions 5 days before my appointment. My appointment is for December 6th. Starting to feel a bit better and trying to relax, I ended up waking up this morning with a small red blotch on the same breast, but different area. I am so sick of this, sick of not knowing what it is, sick of thinking the worst. I consider myself a Christian yet I am so paralyzed by fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. Do I have such little faith that I'm allowing fear to over take my life? I'm done! I'm done worrying about my breast rashes and blotches. I need to give it to God and not take it back. I need to trust in him with my worry and fears. Satan wants me to fear! God wants me to have peace.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5
